I have a new love in my life: J. Golden Kimball. He passed away in 1938, so I don't beleive my husband will feel threatened at all. I think my affinity towards him stems from a kinship I feel with his perspective and personality.
I was reading a book of quotes by him today and I read: "I acknowledge that I am imperfect, and no one is more sorry that I am. I have made mistakes, blunders, but I have faith in God, and I know God will forgive a man who repents."
It struck a chord in my soul so deep that I found myself misty-eyed. It is easy for me to understand the Gospel, share it, teach it and love it. But, this does not give me immunity from struggling just like everyone esle to live the perfect principles therein. I am imperfect: I make mistakes,I have weaknesses and faults. I struggle to reconcile my imperfect nature with the Celestial Gospel principles I know and love.
But, I also know, like my good friend J. Golden, that God will forgive a man, and woman, who repents. In Ether chapter 12 of the Book of Mormion we learn there is also more: "If men come unto me I will show unto them their weakness....then will I make weak things become strong unto them." Not only will He forgive me as I repent, but if I go to Him in humility, willing to see my weakness, He will make be strong. That scripture offers the greatest hope for broken people like me.
I am imperfect- but through Him, I will overcome my weakness until I am perfect. I won't reach that until far into the next stage, but for here and now, I find joy in the fact that I am a broken, imperfect person. The joy comes from the knowledge that my imperfect state is temporary, that the road to perfection is walked with my Savior and God by my side, and that I am loved just the same. I am not just imperfect, I am perfectly imperfect.