Obsess Much?

I suffer from a number of self-diagnosed maladies: "All-or-nothing" Syndrome, "Opposition-to-cleaning-toilets" Syndrome,and "Irrational-fear-of-bears" Syndrome to name just a few. I also suffer from a very common, yet dangerous ailment called "Tunnel-vision" Syndrome. The net effects are that I dial in on, and sometimes obsess on, one task or project and all else seems to be pushed to the back of my mind.

Sometimes I get "Tunnel-vision" in my daily life. I get so focused on keeping my home up, taking care of the family and all that is associated with it, that I don't thing of much else.

In D&C 25:10 The Lord tells Emma Smith: "And verily I say unto thee that thou should lay aside the things of this world, and seek for things of the better."

Of this, President Gordon B. Hinckley said, "I feel he was not telling Emma that she should not feel concerned about a place to live, food on her table, and clothing. He was saying to her that she should not be obsessed with these things as many of us are wont to be. He was telling her to get her thoughts on the higher things in life - the things of righteousness and goodness, matter of charity and love for others, and the things of eternity."

In a post on my other blog, My Dates with God, I wrote about the needful things -my testimony and my faith. That was over a year ago, and I still find that I struggle with the same thing- staying focused on the eternal while dealing with the earthly. I wish I could say that, since I understand the concept in theory, I have perfected it in reality, but that is not the case. I suppose that is part of enduring to the end- trying to live everyday the way we know we should.

While "Tunnel-vision" Syndrome is not a sin, it can keep our mind - and heart- distracted from the things that matter most, the things of eternity. It takes effort to keep you eyes to the sky and your feet on the ground without tripping. We can be so focused on the task at hand that we don't think about the "things of a better." For me, that is realizing that my home may not always look picture-perfect, I may not make gourmet meals every night (not even close!), and I might rarely have a day where my To-Do list was completed. And that is OK.

I wrote in my blog that the "laundry doesn't cry when it doesn't get folded." It's true- even when I had 5 loads piled on my bed a few weeks ago- not a tear from the towels, not a peep from the pants, not a whimper from the whites. I am learning through trial and error, that when I do keep my mind open to the things of eternity, when I allow the Spirit to lead me throughout the day, as I am taking care of the things of this world, I will find more purpose in life and more joy.

I might not accomplish all that I want to do in a day. But, hopefully, I will be able to do all that He wants me to do every day.

Look

I love the scriptures. I love the way they feel, the way they smell, the way they teach and the way they make me feel the Spirit. I love the complexity of Isaiah, and the plainness of Nephi.

Today as I was flipping through my scriptures I came across the Book of Moses, chapter 1. I love reading about God's interactions with His children. He spoke with Moses, face to face - how would that be? First he clarified who He is (like there was a chance Moses couldn't have known!), then he makes sure Moses understands their relationship: "thou art my son." What a loving Father!

Then He says something that struck me tonight. Immediately after establishing their Father/son relationship, God says to Moses, "look, and I will show thee..." He doesn't put it all out there for Moses. He requires something of him first: Look. Then, if he looks, he will see something wonderful.

I know that Heavenly Father has things to show each of us, marvelous things, if we but look when He asks. It almost sounds too easy, doesnt' it? Well, that's what the Israelites thought when they were told to look at the serpent and they will be healed. Many didn't because it was too easy.

I wonder how many times in my life my Father has has something to show me, and he has gently, through the Spirit, said, "Michelle, look." How often did I look? How often did I not? I don't know. But what I do know is that I have a renewed determination to look; look to Him, look for the inspiration through the Spirit, look for the beauty in life- just look. I am eager to see what other marvelous things He has to show me.

And We're Back!

I feel like I am returning the show after an all-too-long commercial break! I have let life get in the way of life, but now I am back to my first love- writing about the Gospel. I hope to see you come around more and share your feelings, too.

Another Testament

I love the Book of Mormon. It truly is another testament of our Savior.

There is is new Reflections of Christ slide show, called "Another Testament of Christ."

It is a beautifully arranged visual representation of what it might have been like when the Savior visited the American Continent after his resurrection, as recorded in 3 Nephi, of the Book of Mormon.

Be sure you have some tissue nearby. It's a beautiful video.

Just Feel Your Way

The missionaries were at my home the other day, teaching my friend and her four children about The Restoration. The missionaries were trying to explain The Apostasy i terms the children would understand. They likened the darkness of night while camping to the Apostasy, and a flashlight, or fire, to the gospel. The elders asked the youngest child, an eight-year-old girl, how she would find her way around in the dark. She looked up and simply said, "I would just feel my way."

How profound, I thought. The little girl, no doubt, had visions of outstretched hands grasping at camping chairs and tent doors to find direction, but her comment made me think of something more than that.

In the darkness, we feel to get around. When the light isn't as bright as we hoped, when direction isn't as clear as we would like, when life seems darker than what we are comfortable with, we are just plain having a hard time seeing- we can feel our way.

The darkness we might experience at times can be brought upon by sin, choices and circumstances. But, even when the darkness seems to heavy for us to see, Heavenly Father can still show us the way through the Holy Ghost: We can feel the promptings of the Spirit, even when we see no way out.

I looked at that little girl, who, by this point was laying on the ground playing with her stuffed giraffe, oblivious of the gem of wisdom she just shared, and I was moved. Out of the mouth of babes. I was so ready to teach them something, and yet I was the one that was moved.

Most times I am good, really good. But, what about the times when I am might not be? Well, I will quote a very wise eight-year-old girl and say, "I would just feel my way."

Perfectly Imperfect

I have a new love in my life: J. Golden Kimball. He passed away in 1938, so I don't beleive my husband will feel threatened at all. I think my affinity towards him stems from a kinship I feel with his perspective and personality.

I was reading a book of quotes by him today and I read: "I acknowledge that I am imperfect, and no one is more sorry that I am. I have made mistakes, blunders, but I have faith in God, and I know God will forgive a man who repents."

It struck a chord in my soul so deep that I found myself misty-eyed. It is easy for me to understand the Gospel, share it, teach it and love it. But, this does not give me immunity from struggling just like everyone esle to live the perfect principles therein. I am imperfect: I make mistakes,I have weaknesses and faults. I struggle to reconcile my imperfect nature with the Celestial Gospel principles I know and love.

But, I also know, like my good friend J. Golden, that God will forgive a man, and woman, who repents. In Ether chapter 12 of the Book of Mormion we learn there is also more: "If men come unto me I will show unto them their weakness....then will I make weak things become strong unto them." Not only will He forgive me as I repent, but if I go to Him in humility, willing to see my weakness, He will make be strong. That scripture offers the greatest hope for broken people like me.

I am imperfect- but through Him, I will overcome my weakness until I am perfect. I won't reach that until far into the next stage, but for here and now, I find joy in the fact that I am a broken, imperfect person. The joy comes from the knowledge that my imperfect state is temporary, that the road to perfection is walked with my Savior and God by my side, and that I am loved just the same. I am not just imperfect, I am perfectly imperfect.

Who's Counting?

Last year I decided to do an experiment. I went through my Book of Mormon and highlighted in blue all the references to God and Jesus Christ. It took a full day. I was amazed and moved at color that filled my scriptures, and the beautiful titles of love and respect that adorned my book: God, the Eternal Father, Father, Eternal God, Supreme Being, Holy God, Most High God, Lord God Almighty Jesus Christ, Savior, Lord, Christ, Only Begotten of the Father, the Holy One, Son of God, Holy Child and Redeemer, just to name a few.

There are 531 pages in the printed Book of Mormon. I counted pages that were touched with blue- 504 pages! There are only 27 pages in pages in the Book of Mormon that do not contain a reference to God and Jesus Christ- most of them in Alma, the war pages. Is it any wonder that it is called Another Testament of Jesus Christ?

To flip through my scriptures with a sea of blue moves me. My testimony of the Book of Mormon came by prayer and through the Holy Ghost. But, this experience has helped to strengthen my testimony of the mission of this perfect book: to testify of Jesus Christ.

Those that wrote the book truly rejoiced in Christ. They looked to God for protection and guidance; they looked to their Savior for redemption from sin. They recorded their dealings with God and each other as testimony to us today.

504 pages of blue. Who's counting? Me.